Ariana Grande, Josh Peck and the problem with punishing child stars

Several former Nickelodeon stars and production staff are speaking out in a four-part docuseries "Quiet on Set: The Dark Side of Kids TV," alleging abuse they faced working for the children's TV network. Drake Bell, star of 2000s-era comedy "Drake & Josh," specifically said dialogue coach Brian Peck sexually assaulted him as a teenager.

Other stars though, have either not yet commented publicly or did not comment immediately on the documentary, including Josh Peck (no relation to Brian) and Ariana Grande. And for that, they are being attacked. (Peck shared a statement on Instagram Thursday saying he reached out to Bell privately and took a few days to process the documentary. "Reliving this publicly is incredibly difficult," he said.)

Bell came to co-star Josh Peck's defense after commenters were particularly harsh in their criticisms of Peck for not reacting publicly: “I just want you guys to know that he has reached out to me, and it’s been very sensitive,” Bell said in a TikTok video. “But he has reached out to talk with me and help me work through this and has been really, really great. So, just wanted to let you guys know that and to take it a little easy on him."

Grande has faced similar pushback. "Ariana Grande being silent about everything is DEAFENING," alleged one X user. Another added: "There is no excuse AT ALL for any past Nickelodeon stars to stay silent here."

People are quick to seek retribution and place blame when abuse allegations arise, according to experts, but that doesn't mean silence on these subjects should be judged.

"No one should experience abuse, and as such we seek accountability," says Elizabeth Jeglic, licensed clinical psychologist and Professor of Psychology at the John Jay College of Criminal Justice, City University of New York. "Others may also choose not to speak out as it is not their story to tell. It takes courage to share stories of abuse and if individuals with more notoriety who have little to add chime in, it can take the power and agency away from the survivor who has come forward."

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Documentaries like these often invoke wild, wide-ranging reactions. Abuse allegations on the sets of TV shows one may have enjoyed as a child infect fond memories and snarl nostalgia into something nasty.

If some Nickelodeon stars share abuse allegations, people's brains often immediately jump to conclude this happened to everyone in one way or another, even if that isn't true.

"Then, because they have not come forward, (we) begin to bully and (attack) them for their silence," says Chase Cassine, licensed clinical social worker.

Plus, knowing how abusers behave, it's possible some had no clue the alleged abuse was going on at all.

"We know that those who engage in abusive behaviors target certain individuals, and they may portray themselves in a positive light to others so that the abuse can go on undetected," Jeglic says. "Given that most children do not disclose abuse when it happens, others are often not aware it is going on and may view the abuser in a positive light."

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'It might be perceived as taking away the focus'

Generally, everyone's timeline varies when they are ready to talk about abuse.

"The #MeToo movement encouraged individuals to come forward to share their stories and recognized the prevalence of these behaviors in our society," Jeglic says. "However individuals must come forward with their stories when they are ready and forcing people to speak out can be harmful."

Talking at all could have ramifications of its own. "When someone speaks up to show support, it might be perceived as taking away the focus – somehow shifting the limelight away from what really matters or the actual victims," says Maryanne Fisher, a psychology professor at St. Mary's University in Canada. "It is like saying 'look at me! How terrible it happened to him' which totally reduces the key issues."

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'It is easy for the public to blame others'

Some may feel guilt in the wake of these accusations too.

"Even if they are not the victims, they may have complex emotions once the abuse is discovered," says Lenore Walker, professor emeritus in the College of Psychology at Nova Southeastern University. "It is easy for the public to blame others rather than putting the responsibility on the part of the system for tolerating and even facilitating such exploitation."

Nobody wins in scenarios like these. But "rather than getting mad at people who have appeared in public to remain silent – meaning they have or may have interacted privately with the person making the allegations – the focus should remain on genuinely supporting those who need it – not judging others external to the situation," Fisher adds.